Love Is Not Judgemental

I was reminded last night of the verse;

 Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Not for the reasons that you imagine either.  I have been reading of late too many blogs and articles deriding and ridiculing Anglo/Turkish relationships.  I know better than most that betrayal is not solely a Turkish attribute; in fact betrayal knows no boundaries.  We assume that because of cultural differences and the difficulties that arise from long distance love that all liaisons between British women and Turkish men inevitably lead along a road of disappointment and heartache.  The plain fact is that some of them will, however, a number and I do mean a large number, have some of the happiest and longest partnerships of any that I know. Not all Turkish men are self-serving gigolos with their eye on your bank balance and neither are all British women gullible fools. 

So should your friend, sister, daughter, niece decide to pursue a relationship with someone you deem unworthy, please remember that the road that they have selected to walk is not an easy one.  Of course, there will be tears and some laughter too along the way, but isn’t that the tapestry of all relationships.  All of us need the support or kind word from a friend or loved one at some time in our lives, surely we are not less deserving because of those we choose to love.  Hearts cannot be influenced by rational thinking and logic.  So be kind, respect the choices that your friends/family make, wish them well as they would you. And just be there for them if it isn’t all they hoped it would be, because frankly that’s what good friends and family do.

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11 thoughts on “Love Is Not Judgemental

  1. I like this post as it reminds me of a lesson I learned at University 30 years ago. I pride myself on not being prejudice in any way but I came unstuck in a psychology lecture focussing on racism and colour prejudice. At the start of the session 120 students were asked to raise their hands if they were racist or colour prejudiced. 3 people admitted to it. We were then all asked 50 questions to test our self-assessment. I was doing great until the question ” if your daughter came home with a Turkish Cypriot and said they were getting married, how would you feel?”. MMmmmmmmm…….I was struck by the insidious and subtle racist thoughts that had permeated my thinking unknown to me and I had to admit at that point, I wasn’t comfortable with the thought. A lesson learned for sure and now happily married to one of those “mad,bad Iranians” I can at least laugh at my moment of stupidity and ignorance. πŸ™‚ Keep blogging, it’s great to read.


      • You’ll be fine. In a “strange” country, a foreign language and weird customs, you are doing great! It’s not so easy after a while as the novelty wears off but stick with it and you’ll be rewarded I’m sure. There will be good days, and not so good days but remember how far you’ve come in such a short time. Amazing and you should be proud of yourself. How many people do you know who would have done what you’ve done? Not many I bet your bottom dollar!!! Enjoy the experience and stay true to yourself and you won’t go far wrong πŸ™‚


  2. we all need a dash of stupidity and insanity πŸ™‚ 10% of each ain’t bad πŸ˜‰ like Caroline said in the comment above …”Stay true to yourself”


  3. What a beautiful & wise post Dallas…
    I feel in love with a man when I was 28…he was around 5’9″ tall with gorgeous brunette hair & sky blue eyes…part Scottish/part Irish & a lapsed Catholic… And did I mention he was a C3-c4 Quadriplegic???
    My family had conniptions over this…friends asked how could I fall in love with a paralyzed man?? Many asked, “Don’t you see the wheelchair?”
    We had 13 years together before he died…
    My family & friends thought me barking mad & maybe this German/Russian/Polish Jewish Aboriginal was….but the love Paul & I shared was magical…..
    Not a day goes by that I do not think of my beloved. As for the wheelchair I just thought it was his Ferrari!!! πŸ˜‰


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