Yesterday we were given the key to Emerald City or if you prefer the “Big Bedroom”, having spent a few uncomfortable weeks & sleepless nights in the bunk beds. It did come at some cost, as Ahmet and his brothers had to hump the entire previous tenant’s belongings down into the cellar for the landlord. My beloved can barely walk as a result but it seemed a small price to pay for a good night’s sleep.

The honeymoon seems to be well and truly over between us and the landlord. Ahmet has been given house rules by the landlord and we are no longer permitted to hoover before 11 o’clock in the morning, remove the hideous clingy plastic sheeting that covers the sofas (and makes your legs sweat) and keep any pets (our lovely green-eyed boy has been rehomed with a family in Akbuk).

This morning was the final insult, whilst taking a leisurely shower, suddenly the bathroom door flew open and the landlord’s wife accompanied by a large Turkish family, all beamed at me from the corridor. The landlady, clearly not taken aback by my lack of clothing, continued her unannounced guided sales tour whilst I attempted to cover my modesty with my Clarins shower gel. Had I known we would be having company, I would have kept the supermarket bought toiletries handy – bigger bottles! It would seem that our tenancy agreement might as well have been written on Andrex toilet tissue.

Ahmet has decided enough is enough and has consulted numerous “friends” so another move is imminent. And just when I thought it was safe to go back into the “Big Bedroom”.