When Is A Honeymoon Not A Honeymoon (Part Thirteen)

“Are you insane?” my sister shrieked at me. “For the love of all things holy, you’ve just been royally dumped so why on earth would you think of flying to Turkey to spend another holiday with a dancing Turk. I don’t want to be watching you on the “Turkish Love Rats” episode of the Jeremy Kyle show.”

We were both drinking tea in my Mum’s spotless kitchen whilst my sister was enjoying a rare child-free five minutes, as my Dad had taken the kids to the local park. I was disappointed that my sister wasn’t as excited as I was thinking about jetting off again, I responded by saying “Firstly, Ahmed does not dance and secondly what’s being jilted got to do with the price of peas? I am talking about going on holiday not eloping. I thought you of all people would be happy that I’m not moping around the house in my undercrackers with hairy legs and a unibrow, crying into my Merlot.”

“I see it’s time for the bitch slap of truth; you’ve done the whole rebound thing, now you need to stay here and sort yourself out cupcake! Get a proper job and your own place; you can’t live with Mum and Dad forever. Do you really want to be living here overdosing on day time television with Mum and discussing the virtues of compost with Dad?”

“I wasn’t expecting you to do the happy pants dance Boo” I said using her childhood nickname “but I thought you might be pleased that I’m moving on after what was an intensely humiliating experience.

“I tell you what’s humiliating; that minging bridesmaid dress you expected me to wear – now that was humiliating.

Her voice was beginning to grate and I contemplated shaving her eyebrows as I had done when we were kids; sure, she may not speak to me for a couple of weeks but I could live with that.

I ignored her and soldiered on trying to get her to understand my view-point “Was it not you that said I need to stop being a spectator of life and start being a contributor?”

“Am I good or what! No wait, that was from one of the slogans inside the free fortune cookies that came with the takeaway. Anyhoo, the point is playtime’s over and it’s back to real life now.”

“Boo don’t tell me if you could, wouldn’t you like to jump on a plane and travel somewhere hot and exciting for a couple of weeks?”

“Dallas, I am a single working mother of two young girls, with a budget smaller than Kylie’s booty shorts and the social life of a nun; discount coupons are exciting to me. Look love, if I were you, I’d forget all about Turkey and start looking in the classified section for flats to let”. She pulled a copy of the local newspaper out of her handbag with a flourish “here’s one I made earlier and I’ve already gone through it and there’s a couple within your price range. No time like the present”, she said passing me her mobile.

So just like that my Turkish Dreams dissolved in a cloud of disappointment and practicality; but destiny is a funny thing!

56 thoughts on “When Is A Honeymoon Not A Honeymoon (Part Thirteen)

  1. Hmmmm… This post makes me think about it in a more serious way now… Both parts (ladies and the lovely gentleman in your family) want to see you “happy” actually, whether you stay or not… How long of a stay in Turkey are we talking about by the way?

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  2. Everyone wants to fall in love and have just this sort of reckless story. Despite the days when I get ripped off by the guy selling me a used cell phone with lame, vague functionality for waaaay too much because I’m a little ol’ yabanci, being here has been worth it all. While others make their bucket lists, you’re crossing things off!

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  3. This is turning into a cliff-hanger. I suspect that Destiny will take you for a ride. It has a way of doing that for folks who are open to the challenge. But stay away from the chicken. 😉

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  4. That’s the good thing about families – they’re always there for you, a cup of tea and a chat, and no matter what the advice is, even wellmeaning but misguided, it’s good you have something to consider… and ignore if it doesn’t suit you 🙂

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  5. The nice thing about this is you are both comfortable to deliver the ‘bitch slap of truth’ to each other when you feel it’s warranted.

    Sometimes travel can be an escape for people avoiding something but usually it’s just a way of living life more fully. I can’t think of a trip that I’ve regretted, even the ones that didn’t go the way I thought they would.

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  6. Hmmm, sound advice from your sister, but not very inspiring. There will always be time for that. Enjoy life as much as you can is the motto, so I reckon you’re doing better on that front! Keep going!

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  7. Isn’t it interesting how people who lead sad lives always want you to join them. I remember my younger sister—who was married at 17, had 2 children and then unhappily divorced—saying in an accusatory way, when I was excited about something fun I was doing, “Is that all you think about…having fun?” Well, uh, yeah. Because, as most here have said in one way or another, “life is too short not to.”

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  8. I’m paraphrasing here but it’s true that most people lead lives of quiet desperation. You’ve already got passion, purpose, and moxie. Don’t let those rare qualities go. They’re so easily crushed under the foot of someone else.

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  9. you thought just like me! I do that all the time, take off on a vacation at the drop of a hat, if am not feeling good enough about anything. Yes life would be there waiting for us, but the break always does one good 🙂 And don’t worry, I’ve been jilted many times over, nothing a good vacation cannot cure 😉

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  10. Having siblings is an amazing thing. They’re always there for you and can provide you with brutal honesty. Sometimes you take it and other times you have to do what’s best for you. Maybe a coin flip can help. haha Wish you all the best.

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  11. You are a fabulous writer. I had the adventure of a lifetime going to Turkey after I got downsized from my marriage. I went as an artist to meet with other artists but as a woman I went as a ghost. Forget “Eat, Pray, Love”. Turkey stands you on your head and it was the beginning of a whole new me and new dreams. I will enjoy following your escapades. There will be escapades right? Shenanigans? Hijinx?

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  12. Your Sister sounds like my Sister….predictable…I think she meant well but I can imagine you wanting to shave yer eyebrows off….
    HHMMM maybe I should visit my Sister soon…. 😉
    Sherri-Ellen & Nylablue
    (you KNOW I can’t stop reading now…)

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  13. Very profound saying! It is true as I left the comfort of the family bosom so to speak almost 19 years ago to come back to my hometown. My Sister has never understood ‘why’ I had to do this. At elast I have had a few good talks with her so she has some understanding of why I had ‘to go’.
    She always wanted me to come back….so now that I am ready she seems to not want me at all….go figure….so she is on her journey also 😉

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  14. ROFWL>>I am sorry i should not laugh at that comment but it is so true of my family too…there is alot of dysfunction (unfortunately) & I guess my family saw my leaving as ‘abandonemnt’ rather than me going out into the world like they all had….
    As the 5 time loser at marriage with 3 divorces followed by #4 dying from organ failure & #5 committing suicide I was supposed to be the Widow in weeds & stay with the family…
    I have a shedload of crazy myself….

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