Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.

There comes a point in your life when you decide that some friendships are just too much damn hard work! We all have a friend that is high maintenance and yet for years we persevere despite the countless occasions when arrangements have been cancelled at the last-minute together with all the times you have put your own plans on hold to listen patiently when yet another drama has unfolded in your friend’s life. Our long-suffering families and loved ones have become accustomed to us abandoning them because of some crisis in this particular friend’s life. We frequently withhold sharing our own happy news because they are having yet another calamity in their job or relationship and we don’t want to appear insensitive. We patiently comply when we are repeatedly side-lined in favour of the latest romance and yet it irks. So why then do we continue to cultivate this friendship when we know we are the only one that truly values it?

There comes a point in your life when you realise who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore and who always will. Don’t worry about people from your past; there is a reason why they did not make it to your future.

61 thoughts on “Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.

  1. There aren’t too many good things about getting old. One is that your priorities get focused — as you would with a work deadline when you are running out of time. Only this time it is the years ticking away.

    As one of my friends wisely said ” Life is too short to spend it with people you don’t like”.

    Like

  2. Crazy – sound advice. Timely, too. I bumped into an old school ‘friend’ recently – after a million years of not seeing her – I felt like an awkward 16 year old again. And, its definitely a girl thing. LM couldn’t understand how she could bring back all these memories of my teenage years.

    Like

  3. Goodness yes! It is such a relief when you get there and that light bulb goes off in your head. It means you’ve lived long enough, met enough people and travelled enough to realise that friendship doesn’t have to mean sacrifice – it’s sharing the good times and support in the bad 😉

    Like

  4. I agree, we tend to hang on out of sentimentality & loyalty, often misguided. Then there comes a time to introduce the Tupac Shakur motto “You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f#ck on.”… can be applied to so many life circumstances 🙂

    Like

  5. You know, In the last two days I’ve had conversations with two different friend about this exact kind of person in each of their lives. Often the tie doesn’t get broken out of comfort, fear and a sense of shared history… They cling long after the reason they became friend in the first place is gone.

    Like

  6. Was hoping for the answer to the question. LOL. But I think the answer, we put up with it because WE know what it means to be a true friend, and we don’t do the things we do with the expectation of return, we do it because it’s the right thing to do.

    Like

  7. I also have found that some people seem to drift in and then out again. You don’t really notice it until you start reminiscing. On;y a very few are keepers, and they are so precious. 🙂

    Like

    • Great post, CrazyTrain! Isn’t it strange how men’s friendships are sturdy and women’s so fragile?? And I agree with your comment, Sylvia. Here’s a quote I now put at the bottom of all my emails. It’s so perfect and addresses Sylvia’s “only a few are keepers, and they are so precious…”

      “Do not chase people. Be you and do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay.” ~ Wu Tang

      I also agree with globalgarnishgeek’s friend. “Life is too short to spend it with people you don’t like!”

      Like

  8. As you age it is the faithful friends you enjoy being with the ones that are like a sister to you, the ones that share good and bad times. They are so precious. Acquaintences that come and go make life interesting and I love making new friends but only a few ever touch your heart and soul and become a life long friend, and even if you don’t get together often that spark is always there.

    Like

  9. This reminds me of a friend I was meant to meet up with one night, at a mutual friend’s house. We’d changed the night to suit her in the first place (it was fairly inconvenient for myself and my other friend) and then she rang at 8pm that night (2 hours after we were meeting) to say she couldn’t make it because she had burnt her hand quite badly. She had our sympathy until she mentioned that it had happened 3 days before. Suffice to say she was ‘de-friended’ fairly quickly!

    Like

  10. I’m happy to say I’ve reached an age where life is too short to put up with this sort of inconsiderate behavior. Or to pull up one of my favorite quotes: “There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama & the people who create it & surround yourself with people who make you laugh.” -Unknown
    I might just suggest that you don’t need to make it into a drama making the cut. Simply quit going out of your way to keep getting burned.

    Like

  11. I agree, which whether it makes me a bad friend or not I do what makes me happy and not everyone else. Most of my friends are cool with it, those that aren’t are no longer on my Christmas card list. Do I miss them sometimes, but usually I am just relieved not to have the heart ache and stress in my life anymore. Friendships are robust things if we let them be so. Most of my circles we dont see each other for months, we then go out for a good social catch up, promise not too leave it too long and then 6 months have passed before we catch up again. Has the friendship suffered because of it … i dont think it has and if a major disaster happens I am always on call night and day for them… and they know this

    Like

    • At the end of the day I think we both strive to be the friends that we would like to have, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t and I agree we spend far too much time trying to make others happy and we end up being miserable for it

      Like

  12. So true! I was invited to a school reunion some years back, though I didn’t actually graduate from the school I had gone to school with them from elementary through grade 10, then left for greener pastures. Some bright bulb decided it would be genius to invite me because I was one of the missing parts, one of the highlights of their school days.

    My reply?

    No thank you I didn’t like most of you back then and certainly don’t want to revisit that particularly miserable period of my life now.

    Like

  13. I love the quote. I think the big difference is our expectations. Guys rarely expect anything out of their relationships. Boy play along side of each other whereas girls invest a lot of expectations into their relationships. Usually the times we are most disappointed is because of our expectations. We weigh and measure our interactions, look for meaning in glances, body language and get our self worth and feelings bound up into other people’s actions. Men in general don’t take other people’s actions as a reflection or statement about themselves. Buddy movies with guys involve a lot of laughs and either doing something or kicking back and chilling. With women it is very interactive, emotional and about meeting needs. With men they don’t care if their buddies don’t notice their new haircuts or weight loss. I know I am generalizing like crazy but I think we look for a lot more fulfillment of emotional needs and therefore can encounter a lot more disappointment.

    Like

  14. Small betrayers are the first clue that you have come in contact with an energy vampire. They are deadly! Seek the sunshine and follow the clouds – there are many adventures that are waiting for you…

    Like

  15. Oh, I am definitely on board this Crazy Train. My husband and I were just talking about this the other day. I don’ t have as many friends as I used to, and that is partly because I got very tired of being used. I have a hard time saying no, and when I finally found my no voice, I found out who my true friends were. All of my blogger friends are way cooler than the friends I lost anyway.

    Like

  16. Well put indeed. And REALLY good advice within the comments section – you sure do have some wise blogger friends, so I shall forgo my words of wisdom for it seems it’s all been said already 🙂

    Like

  17. Agree one hundred percent.
    And then there are those ‘friends’ (AND family) whose mission it is to find fault with you, and you spend your entire life bending over backwards to do the right thing. Until it dawns on you that they are never going to stop, whatever you do. That realisation is so freeing.
    Love your new motto 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s