Fifty Sheds of Grey

Now it’s safe to say that my Dad is an old-fashioned gentleman, he opens doors for ladies and still stands whenever one enters the room. He would never say anything inappropriate and I’ve never heard him swear; of course, me and my sister more than compensate for my parents’ self-restraint in the expletive department.

Some time ago one of my friends kindly loaned me, and by default my sister, the Fifty Shades Trilogy; if I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again if I had nits, my sister would want them! My sibling enjoyed the books, me not so much.

Now my dad is one of those strange souls who frequently strikes up conversations with complete strangers; in fact, he could so often be mistaken for the “nutter on the bus”. You know the one that gets on and sits next to you despite every other seat being available. So it was inevitable that when he was stood in line at a supermarket checkout behind a young woman who was waiting to pay for the Fifty Shades trilogy, he remarked to her that his daughters had the same books and wondered why they were so popular. In fairness to my Dad, he probably thought that they were the same genre as the James Patterson novels that we both enjoy so much. He would have been mortified to discover that he was in actual fact, discussing the latest in “mummy porn”. My Dad had been raised in a strict Irish Catholic environment in the St James district of Leeds, peppered with lots of Hellfire & Damnation and where my late Grandma, God love her, would change television channels should a Playtex bra commercial air whilst any men were present.

I can’t imagine what this young woman was thinking as my pensioner Dad casually chatted with her about her choice of fiction. Fortunately, she didn’t run screaming from the store and my Dad wasn’t detained by security. However, this is one conversation with my Dad that I’m going to be leaving to my more forthright sister.

Fifty-Shades-trilogy

83 thoughts on “Fifty Sheds of Grey

  1. So funny! That reminds me of my parents and the time they came round and ‘Dangerous Liaisons’ came on the tv with all those heaving bosoms and French bedrooms scenes. Dad – ‘Pauline get your coat time we got home’. They couldn’t leave quickly enough!

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  2. I think your dad is fabulous! I read three pages of the first book and then wondered why anyone would ever consider reading it. I looked up the plot line on Wikipedia and got the whole story within 5 minutes – a modest effort at best. But what do I know. I understand that the trilogy has outsold Harry Potter!

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    • I wanted to check it out as all my colleagues were raving about it and I struggled through the first few chapters of the first one and I thought it was a big like the Emperor’s New Clothes where everyone else saw something I didn’t. But I bet the author’s laughing all the way to the bank so good on her!

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  3. Oh my goodness, poor chap! I read the triology in a week. Not ony is it mummy porn but also granddma porn as well as I passed the books round to my friends…we laughed…those were the days 🙂 Husbands looked on in amazement (shock horror) as we discussed various “aspects” of the books and it had nothing to do with the style of writing. Coffee mornings will never be the same again!

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  4. Your dad seems like a nice guy. I am also one of those nutters that talks to strangers. I have absolutely zero desire to read those books. I saw excerpts and the writing looks atrocious! LOL.
    That line about the nits cracked me up too…

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  5. I chat up strangers pretty much everywhere I go. So I’m with your dad and don’t consider him the least bit odd. On the contrary, I find that attitude warm and open. But they do call me “Schmoozin’ Susan” ‘in these here parts’ (across the pond).

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    • I think that’s a lovely nick-name not sure all the neighbours are quite so flattering about my Dad though; but he’s happy enough and he never gives any offence intentionally and I think northerners (English) tend to be a lot more gregarious that us softie southerners

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  6. Dads! Gotta’ love ’em…
    I remember when I was 12 and McDonalds had their ‘if you don’t receive your Big Mac in less than a minute, you get it for free’ promotion on. My Dad – who was in Mickey D’s for the first time, timed our order and got into an argument with the cashier over the fact that our order took longer than 60 seconds. MORTIFICATION!

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  7. Your Dad sounds like a very dear man, and belonging to his generation, I imagine, if not older, I can well understand his taking interest in what young people are reading. I think it might be a good idea to tell him about these books. I haven’t read them, but I read a review, and understood that the lesson one learns from them is that these sado-masochistic relationships are really an effort to build trust… and intimacy through trust, in a sexual relationship.

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  8. Hahaha. That’s great. I’ve been wanting to read them, to see what all the fuss is about, but haven’t gotten to it yet. I always fear I’ll be disappointed when there’s so much hype.
    I love your family.

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  9. There are some discussions that are better left alone and talking about 50 Shades with my parents has got to be one of them. Mum started telling me she was reading it and I swiftly changed the subject to something much less interesting! Who knows what your Dad gets up to in that shed – could be he’s catching up on some reading!

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  10. I tried reading the first book as well. I realized I bought the first book on my Kindle while my dad’s Amazon account was still registered on it hahaha! However I don’t think the emails he got telling he “bought” the book (since it was his credit card paying for it) had the title in the emails, just that he had made a purchase on Amazon. When I finally figured out how to switch the Kindle to my Amazon account, I lost all the books I had downloaded, including Fifty Shades of Grey. I had read enough to realize the book was not my cup of tea. It was so damn boring and so repetitive so I didn’t bother downloading it again. My father is none the wiser his credit card bought the book–he probably still doesn’t know what it is.

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    • I was laughing at this because you were so lucky to get away with it. My Dad always winds us up by keeping his bank card in his pocket and occasionally he gets it out, kisses it and winks at us before returning it to his pocket – I guess that means it’s his not ours!

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      • I’m just so glad he never realized his credit card got charged for a “mommy porn” book. He was mostly pissed off I kept buying books he kept getting charged for (I went a little overboard when I first got my Kindle and downloaded a few hundred dollars worth of books) and couldn’t figure out how to switch over to my accounts haha!

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  11. I tend to let all the furor die down before I read the latest and greatest. Sounds like I don’t need to bother with this one. I was thrilled when I finally got around to doing the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, though. Great plot and very well written. Badly written titillation generally isn’t my cup of tea and that’s what shades of grey sounds like.

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    • I was very disappointed and I didn’t have any empathy for the characters which probably didn’t help but although I’ve seen the film “Girl with a Dragon Tattoo”, I have to admit, I haven’t read any of the books but think I’ll check them out now

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      • I did Tattoo in the opposite order…. first the book (which I’ve reread since then), followed by the movie. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to see the movie. It was OK, but the book is far, far better. Could NOT put it down the first time I read it. Especially the first book. It has some ghastly scenes (as you may have noted in the movie), but they’re part of the plot and they aren’t just tossed in for the thrills. Well written and I loved Salander. Her movie character wasn’t at all the way I pictured her from the book. (and the movie took some liberties with the details, as movies tend to do.)

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  12. AAwwwwww … I think you should take him on one side and explain to him the error of his ways! I agree with SueAnn – discussing 50 Shades with one’s parents is strictly OFF the agenda!! LOL OH Lord!

    I was quite disappointed with the Trilogy, too, Dallas. Thought it was titillation for titillation’s sake with not much literary ability or story-line thrown in. She made herself famous because she was the first to do it – nothing more, nothing less.

    I got sick-to-death of reading “Oh my” and in fact, started to count them up instead of reading on! It really got on my nerves!

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    • That’s the problem when you don’t really like something and you start to analyse; I’m a bit like that with some of my sister’s favourite television programmes when I think the godawful dialogue is predictable and she reckons I put her off watching them! And I won’t be talking my Dad through the plot of fifty shades anytime soon!

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  13. Your Dad sounds abit like my Jack. Jack also talks to every one he stands next to and loves talking to young, pretty girls. He says “it has advantages being older (Jack is 80) as they do not feel threatened or compromised when he chats to them…”

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  14. This did make me giggle. TL, who is a huge fan of cowboy movies, astonished me by bringing Brokeback Mountain home. I bit my tongue and settled down to watch. Watching his face was more entertaining than the film. When the penny dropped he muttered something about wanting to see ‘the other’ Brokeback Mountain and disappeared in a huff. LOL

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  15. I heard a lot about the fifty shades trilogy but for some reason I am not interested in reading them. I am glad to hear someone saying that they are not as they make them to be. I love your dad though!

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    • I have to say that although I wanted to know what all the fuss was about, I was a little disappointed and struggled but whatever you think of them, the author did very well and with publishing being such a competitive market, you have to applaud that

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  16. Yeah I battled through the book but it was hard going. gives hope to bad writers everywhere that we can write something that bad and be so successful. I used to feel embarrassed reading it in public, not because it was a sex book but because it just so bad.

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  17. Ha ha ha, your dad is a scream…..trying to imagine that young woman’s expression 😆
    My daughter kind of gave me the gist of what was in the book. She had it under lock and key for fear of her older son getting his hands on it 😀

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  18. great Dad, as always…. probably thinks it is some crime thrillers. (ps I haven’t read them either but heard a lot about the content, still does not interest me) just leave Wikipedia open on the trilogy explanation when Dad comes into the room (just as you’re leaving), so he can take a peek for himself 😉

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  19. hahaha! I would love to know you’re dad’s response when he discovers what the books are about. It’s books like these that I thank the gods for the invention of the kindle. Buy and read and those around you are non the wiser.

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  20. Tink, I think your dad is adorable…I agree w/you on the trilogy (ugh)…that’s why I started my own, sort of…and thought I’d sent you an invite, but maybe I didn’t. If not, sorry, sorry. If did, you need to reconsider 😉 so i’ll send another. hehe, i’m shameless…xoxo Rhonda

    http://50-shades-of-gray-hair.com/

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