Yep, it’s that time of year again when the village gardeners and amateur jam &
cake makers up their game and hone their skills to produce the most outstanding exhibits/entries for the forthcoming village fair; my parents included.
Last year, if you remember was a bit of a dog’s breakfast owing to the cake fiasco so everyone is all the more determined to ensure that this year’s is a huge success. Unbeknown to me, yet again I have been volunteered for duty by my well-intentioned father who is trying to make amends for last year’s debacle as even a free year’s supply of his blackberry wine has not redeemed him in any way shape or form with the formidable ladies of the Women’s Institute. It would appear that I am to be a car park marshal and regrettably not the western kind where you get to wear a shiny badge, ride a trusty steed and carry a gun. I will be donning a high-visibility luminous vest or poncho, weather dependent and disappointingly without even a trusty taser in my holster either. I have been advised that after a day ushering cars and passengers in and around the field set aside for this purpose, I will feel like I have done a day’s hard labour. Although on the upside I will be provided with a walkie-talkie;
I can already feel the power coursing through my veins but the addition of a cattle prod would have sealed the deal for me.
This job is the least favourite of all fete volunteers apart from the judging of the most beautiful baby competition, on account of all visitors wanting to park as near to the entrance as possible. Heated disputes have become commonplace amongst friends and neighbours in previous years regarding a coveted car parking space alongside the main arena but as my marshalling buddy is the church verger no doubt I will have to refrain from cussing anyone out or I may find the congregation praying for my lapse at the next Sunday service. Alternatively, I will always succumb to bribes.
I keep reminding myself that it’s all in a good cause although I suspect I will spend the day with a face like a bulldog chewing a thistle.
Oh, how I feel your pain… I’m not sure there are many of us who have not been in your shoes – one time or another – where we have had the same thoughts. Cudos to you… and to all of you for keeping this going. I’m such a ‘fair’ junkie… LOVE all the hullabaloo… Good for your; I tip my hat.
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The joys of village life! Would much rather be a spectator though
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I would have not wanted it to be any other…truly a blessing!
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Those jams are making my mouth water! Hope you have fun anyway, and WEAR A HAT and sunscreen. Hope your dad wins a prize! – Kaye
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I most definitely will! Thought your new episode of Late Bloomer looks really interesting, I am off to bed now having finished my shift so am going to watch it when I wake up – have a good day
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Your father is amazing. He must have read that research paper that said, people who volunteer live longer. Knowing your father, he would have you reach 110!!! Look forward to many more volunteer positions coming your way. You’ll look so important with that walkie-talkie! 😆
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I will take my duties very seriously, of course and the use of the wireless radio is just an added bonus
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🙂
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My sympathies to you. My dear hubby felt the need to volunteer me for stuff like this. Hope the cake survives this time round. 😀
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Is it a man thing volunteering other family members? For my Dad’s sake best he keeps his hands off my mother’s entries!
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It seems to be a man thing judging by my experience and that of my friends. Yours, too, apparently.
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What a great turn of phrase: like a bulldog chewing a thistle. I can immediately picture that. Aside from that, try to have a little fun, and I’m sure you’ll get a good blog post out of it (which we can’t wait to read).
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It’ll be a long day as although it’s run like a military campaign by a committee, they do take themselves very seriously
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OOHHH … good luck with that, Dallas. Hope at least the weather stays fine for you 🙂
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I hope it’s not too hot, otherwise I will only be able to wear the hi-vis vest and not much else!
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OOOOOHHHHHH 😉
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Ha,ha! Smile and wave, smile and wave.
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and you forgot breathe deeply!
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The power of a walkie talkie should not be underestimated. Additionally, messing with people trying to do actual important work by clogging it up with goofy chatter and strange noises makes all crappy jobs totally worth it. I beg of you….have fun with this walkie talkie! For me!
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Oh yes I’m going to be having lots of fun with that!
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Ho ho ho – we suspect there’s going to be the most wonderful post to follow this one 😀
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You know it; I won’t be able to help myself although of course, the names will be changed to protect the innocent
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innocent until proven guilty 😉
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Ohhhhh, just your luck! But the upside is of course you’ll have plenty of stories after this is over! Don’t forget your camera! Good luck and have fun anyway!
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Now I don’t know whether I will be able to brandish a camera alongside my walkie talkie and car parking passes but I will try my best
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Good luck with this one, nothing seems to bring out the mad dog more in people then incidents involving parking spots.
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Completely agree with you and add a dash of really hot weather and I think we’ll be looking at a possible meltdown of WWE proportions
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Please, please, please take a photo of your luminous vest or poncho. Please?
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I knew you would be dead envious even though they’re not pink and encrusted with rhinestones or sequins
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So sorry. Hehe. Definitely take pictures, and if you have to cuss someone out, ohmygod lease use the record function.
Can’t wait to hear about this!
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No doubt there will be a few expletives and the congregation will have to pray for my soul yet again
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I hope you’ll get a chance to visit the cake tent – freebies for volunteers, by any chance?
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I love the cake tent but sadly there are no freebies as they take the judging very seriously! Maybe my Mum will take pity on me and make a special victoria sponge just for me!
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Since no cattle prods or tasers are available as part of your volunteering efforts, might I suggest you add to your regalia with a simple horse whip? This might be helpful, if only to make you look more official, scare (or impress) those who don’t take your duties seriously and on the upside some might even find it extremely attractive (bonus).
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Mmm now a bullwhip that would be something although I may be banned from next years event but on the upside there’d be no double parking
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Well if ever there was a thankless job, that will be it!
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Yes, but I’d have a very short life expectancy if I had to judge the beautiful baby contest
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You’ll love every second???? Well, somebody’s gotta do it, with grace, aplomb and gritted teeth. Who better? 🙂
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Ha, that “bulldog chewing thistle” expression should see you through just fine! And think of all the blog fodder you will be collecting 😀
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It was every bit as sit-com material as I expected it to be; that’s village life for you!
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Ahh, the things we do for our parents. I guess it evens out after all the grief we gave them as teenagers. 🙂
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All I will say is that my Dad now owes me big time!
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hope they gave you a slice of delicious cake and home made blackberry tea with special bee’s honey to thankyou for your hard work…. looking forward to reading more…
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