You may not be surprised to learn that Beverley Big Pants and I have had a number of dating disasters which I was reminded of whilst reading one of Leo’s posts over at Doggy’s Style. She’s had more than me on account of me wasting several years with Serial Shagger although we did have a break Rachel & Ross “friends” style once or twice.
After a handful of dates with the wrong men, my sister thought she’d hit the jackpot when she was asked out to dinner a couple of times by a very handsome naval officer. He wined and dined her in some expensive restaurant before suggesting that they end the evening with a nightcap back at his place. As he had behaved like an impeccable gentleman on previous occasions she had no reason to suspect ulterior motives. He lived in a penthouse apartment overlooking Plymouth Sound and she was impressed by his luxurious home.
A couple of brandies later and he remarked how well they seemed to get on and that he felt comfortable confiding in her. Suggesting that she wait in the living room, he said that he had something he wished to share with her. My sister wasn’t quite sure what to expect and braced herself with another brandy whilst thoughts of a bunny boiler ex-wife, a red room of pain or an exotic reptile collection all crossed her mind.
Calling from the bedroom he asked her if she was ready and then casually walked out of the bedroom dressed as a Star Trek Klingon fully masked. Initially, she was relieved that she wasn’t going to have to feign interest in an arachnid or lizard collection but found it difficult to contemplate further dates with someone who wanted to spend every waking hour when he wasn’t working dressed as an alien, even though she had always wanted to spend her life with a man in uniform.
Giving him the Vulcan salute, she suggested that he go forth and prosper, made her excuses and left.
And the moral of this story is to be careful what you wish for!
Please bear with me I’m recovering from the Norovirus but promise I will get around to catching up with you all as soon as I’m back to
normal full health!