You may not be surprised to learn that Beverley Big Pants and I have had a number of dating disasters which I was reminded of whilst reading one of Leo’s posts over at Doggy’s Style. She’s had more than me on account of me wasting several years with Serial Shagger although we did have a break Rachel & Ross “friends” style once or twice.
After a handful of dates with the wrong men, my sister thought she’d hit the jackpot when she was asked out to dinner a couple of times by a very handsome naval officer. He wined and dined her in some expensive restaurant before suggesting that they end the evening with a nightcap back at his place. As he had behaved like an impeccable gentleman on previous occasions she had no reason to suspect ulterior motives. He lived in a penthouse apartment overlooking Plymouth Sound and she was impressed by his luxurious home.
A couple of brandies later and he remarked how well they seemed to get on and that he felt comfortable confiding in her. Suggesting that she wait in the living room, he said that he had something he wished to share with her. My sister wasn’t quite sure what to expect and braced herself with another brandy whilst thoughts of a bunny boiler ex-wife, a red room of pain or an exotic reptile collection all crossed her mind.
Calling from the bedroom he asked her if she was ready and then casually walked out of the bedroom dressed as a Star Trek Klingon fully masked. Initially, she was relieved that she wasn’t going to have to feign interest in an arachnid or lizard collection but found it difficult to contemplate further dates with someone who wanted to spend every waking hour when he wasn’t working dressed as an alien, even though she had always wanted to spend her life with a man in uniform.
Giving him the Vulcan salute, she suggested that he go forth and prosper, made her excuses and left.
And the moral of this story is to be careful what you wish for!
Please bear with me I’m recovering from the Norovirus but promise I will get around to catching up with you all as soon as I’m back to normal full health!
Fun post :-). (I had to google norovirus and wish you a speedy recovery).
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Cheers m’dear – am at least up out of the sick bed today
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A man with an identity crisis? Yeah, no thanks. 😉 … Thanks for the smile … Wishing you a full recovery.
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If there’s a weirdo out there we’ll find him! Thank you for your kind words too
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Being married to a bonafide ‘trekker’ for over 30 years…I can at least tell you I relate. He does not, however, dress the part. Thankful for the little things. Hope you are on the mend dear one…xo
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I can’t believe how low I’ve felt and for so long but I’m up and about today just in time for the thunderstorms – when I worked as a casual waitress I once did a Star Trek convention and that was a lot of fun being stuck in the lift with all these different characters from the television series
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I’m glad you are up and about. LOL stuck in the lift with the aliens? too funny!
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Wondered how you were, sad to hear the reason for your absence. You must be on the mend 😀
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I’ve turned a corner today but I can’t believe how ill I felt but I am now back with a vengeance!
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Thank goodness!
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That would have been my sister’s ideal date, she loves klingons!
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Fantastic – I’ll dig out his telephone number
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Haha, I guess you are right, not all uniforms are that sexy 🙂
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Indeed there are quite a few which are less than attractive!
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Very entertaining! So sorry to hear you have been sick! I have a cold, as well. Hopefully, tomorrow is a better day.
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Hope you’re feeling better as well Kaye, it’s never nice to being poorly and I’ve felt that I’ve lost two weeks of my life
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priceless…
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I sense a sympathetic soul and suspect you’ve had you’re share of disastrous dates too
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oh yes I have, please I try to block those memories… I think the mental imagery and the thorough shock/horror she must have felt as he walked out all Klingon… I think I would have burst out laughing myself… 🙂
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That’s really funny. I was nervous reading this when it got to the part where he left the room. I was afraid it was going to be something incredibly frightening.
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I think in some ways my sister was glad it wasn’t something worse either way he was history once he said he needed to confide in her!
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Having been married to a “man in uniform” (Navy), I can say in all honesty, it’s not that great. But a Klingon—haha, that’s at least different. I expect he would have wanted her to convert to Klingon, too. Hope you’re feeling better soon.
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We live in a garrison/naval town so I think that phase has now worn off but there again …
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Oh! please recover totally and soon! You’ve been missed, my dear. What a bunch of weird ones out there for sure.
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As my Dad says in true Yorkshire fashion “there’s none so queer as folk”.
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Get better soon!
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I’m on the mend now Hayley
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I hope that you’re feeling a better by now … I can see my booty is in good company with yours *smile – terrible thing – Norovirus. Never had it, but have friends that have been suffering from it.
Brilliant story – not everything is what it seems to be – I just love uniforms, but there is a limit for that too. *smile
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I don’t think I could have spent my life with someone who continually wanted to wear lycra – feeling a little better today Wivi
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Dallas, great news – you take it easy now under the weekend.
Lyrca is some terrible material – both to look at and to feel.
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Haaaaa!! Oh man. I think she handled that VERY well! I would’ve sputtered my way through the rest of the evening trying to plot an escape plan that I would never think of in time because I have a guy dressed as a vulcan sitting next to me.
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Any dating disasters yourself?
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Oh, thousands! 😉
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HA! I wish I could have seen the look on your sister’s face when he appeared from the bedroom. And I was also relieved it wasn’t something worse! My dating disasters have happened before I even went out with them. I recently received a naked picture of a guy I was going to get happy hour drinks with (of course I said wrong tactic for this girl) and then I just got asked out on a first date to a Subway deli for lunch. I’m beating the good ones off with a stick over here!
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As someone who works with very geeky people (my company publishes comics!) who is used to hearing very geeky conversations all day, I don’t judge Trekkies (in case you were unaware of the name fans of Star Trek go by) for their devotion. I have my own weird obsessions I won’t divulge here. But cosplay (I cannot believe I just used that word, working at this company is doing wonders for my geek vocabulary) has always kind of freaked me out. I used to cry whenever I saw someone dressed as Santa Claus/clown/etc so seeing someone dressed as a freaky fictional creature would not help things. Did this man always dress up when lady friends came over?
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There are so many worse things, so many. I would only say, if that was the only secret in the closet she should have shouted “beam me up” and seen where it got her.
Feel better soon.
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So glad you are feeling better, that virus is hard to shake.
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So funny!!
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My dating disasters are quite mild in comparison to my sisters!
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Pleased you are back on the airwaves Dallas, Hope you are fully recovered soon
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I’m moving in the right direction now but it’s taken longer than I thought
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HILARIOUS!
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Nought so strange as folk….. Hope you’re feeling better soon.
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I dunno… I think if he could deal with me dressing as Scarlett O’Hara during all our free time, I likely could deal with pretending to swoon while secretly being interested in Klingon mating rituals… hahaha
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Great story! I am glad you are beginning to feel better.
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Wishing you a speedy recovery.
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I am catching up on your posts. We have been on the move now for over a month and finally got internet in our new home in Morocco.
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How glamorous – Morocco. I am so envious! Looking forward to the pics of your new home
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Ha ha, half expected him to have nothing on! Can’t make up my mind which is worse 😀
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Men in uniforms! 🙂 He sounds like a real crackpot. I would also have hightailed it out of there. What a laugh!
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For some reason we attract a lot of weirdos or as my Grandma would have said “Jesus’s little sunbeams”. It’s a family thing!
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