Beam Me Up, Scotty

You may not be surprised to learn that Beverley Big Pants and I have had a number of dating disasters which I was reminded of whilst reading one of Leo’s posts over at Doggy’s Style. She’s had more than me on account of me wasting several years with Serial Shagger although we did have a break Rachel & Ross “friends” style once or twice.

After a handful of dates with the wrong men, my sister thought she’d hit the jackpot when she was asked out to dinner a couple of times by a very handsome naval officer.  He wined and dined her in some expensive restaurant before suggesting that they end the evening with a nightcap back at his place.  As he had behaved like an impeccable gentleman on previous occasions she had no reason to suspect ulterior motives.  He lived in a penthouse apartment overlooking Plymouth Sound and she was impressed by his luxurious home.

A couple of brandies later and he remarked how well they seemed to get on and that he felt comfortable confiding in her.  Suggesting that she wait in the living room, he said that he had something he wished to share with her.  My sister wasn’t quite sure what to expect and braced herself with another brandy whilst thoughts of a bunny boiler ex-wife, a red room of pain or an exotic reptile collection all crossed her mind.

Calling from the bedroom he asked her if she was ready and then casually walked out of the bedroom dressed as a Star Trek Klingon fully masked.  Initially, she was relieved that she wasn’t going to have to feign interest in an arachnid or lizard collection but found it difficult to contemplate further dates with someone who wanted to spend every waking hour when he wasn’t working dressed as an alien, even though she had always wanted to spend her life with a man in uniform.

Giving him the Vulcan salute, she suggested that he go forth and prosper, made her excuses and left.

And the moral of this story is to be careful what you wish for!

star trek

Please bear with me I’m recovering from the Norovirus but promise I will get around to catching up with you all as soon as I’m back to normal full health!

51 thoughts on “Beam Me Up, Scotty

  1. Being married to a bonafide ‘trekker’ for over 30 years…I can at least tell you I relate. He does not, however, dress the part. Thankful for the little things. Hope you are on the mend dear one…xo

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    • I can’t believe how low I’ve felt and for so long but I’m up and about today just in time for the thunderstorms – when I worked as a casual waitress I once did a Star Trek convention and that was a lot of fun being stuck in the lift with all these different characters from the television series

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  2. Having been married to a “man in uniform” (Navy), I can say in all honesty, it’s not that great. But a Klingon—haha, that’s at least different. I expect he would have wanted her to convert to Klingon, too. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

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  3. I hope that you’re feeling a better by now … I can see my booty is in good company with yours *smile – terrible thing – Norovirus. Never had it, but have friends that have been suffering from it.
    Brilliant story – not everything is what it seems to be – I just love uniforms, but there is a limit for that too. *smile

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  4. Haaaaa!! Oh man. I think she handled that VERY well! I would’ve sputtered my way through the rest of the evening trying to plot an escape plan that I would never think of in time because I have a guy dressed as a vulcan sitting next to me.

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  5. HA! I wish I could have seen the look on your sister’s face when he appeared from the bedroom. And I was also relieved it wasn’t something worse! My dating disasters have happened before I even went out with them. I recently received a naked picture of a guy I was going to get happy hour drinks with (of course I said wrong tactic for this girl) and then I just got asked out on a first date to a Subway deli for lunch. I’m beating the good ones off with a stick over here!

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  6. As someone who works with very geeky people (my company publishes comics!) who is used to hearing very geeky conversations all day, I don’t judge Trekkies (in case you were unaware of the name fans of Star Trek go by) for their devotion. I have my own weird obsessions I won’t divulge here. But cosplay (I cannot believe I just used that word, working at this company is doing wonders for my geek vocabulary) has always kind of freaked me out. I used to cry whenever I saw someone dressed as Santa Claus/clown/etc so seeing someone dressed as a freaky fictional creature would not help things. Did this man always dress up when lady friends came over?

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  7. I dunno… I think if he could deal with me dressing as Scarlett O’Hara during all our free time, I likely could deal with pretending to swoon while secretly being interested in Klingon mating rituals… hahaha

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