A True Hero Isn’t Measured By The Size Of His Strength But The Strength Of His Heart

My dear old Dad suffered a stroke last week and subsequently has paralysis in his right arm. For such an independent and active soul this has been devastating but my Dad has borne it like a real trooper albeit a very weary one. We realise, of course, that we are so very lucky in comparison to others who have not been so fortunate. With the availability of various treatments, in some cases through rehabilitation full recovery is possible so we remain optimistic.

It’s ironic but it’s the little things that you overlook when you’re in this situation such as forgetting that because my Dad’s right handed, he struggles now to wield a knife, peel a banana and open packets. It’s a big learning curve for us all but a challenge that we’re all up for.

Whilst my Dad’s allotment and garden remains idle, on the upside I am chauffeuring him everywhere; although I’m not entirely sure he’s quite as thrilled about it! In fact, he’s remarked that whilst he escaped incontinence as a symptom, he may not be so blessed as a frequent passenger in my car.

So if you’re reading this Dad, I want you to know that I’m proud of you and that I know you can overcome anything you put your mind to.

I hope you understand that my posts maybe a little erratic and I’m not able to catch up with you as frequently as I would like but rest assured I will be thinking of you all. For those that find themselves in a similar situation I can thoroughly recommend the Stroke Association Website

My Dad & his youngest grand-daughter Titch

My Dad & his youngest grandaughter Titch

93 thoughts on “A True Hero Isn’t Measured By The Size Of His Strength But The Strength Of His Heart

  1. So sorry sweet peat. Never fun when parents get ill- that whole childhood fear of being left alone just comes sweepin right back like you were seven yesterday. And if it’s any comfort, I will not drive with my mama anymore because she won’t stop gasping and clutching the dashboard. I’ve never been a parent, but it seems like parents harbor an irrational fear that we’re out to kill them, specifically in a car.

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  2. I’m very sorry to hear this news. My father suffered strokes and was rehabilitated by my caring and tireless mother. He was lucky to have her and your Da is lucky to have you. Tell him I am expecting a full recovery so he can get back up to speed in the garden! I still want to meet him and see the allotment some day! – Kaye

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  3. Sorry to hear this Dallas. But glad things weren’t worse. Every time I dust my bookshelves I move three carved ebony elephants that were part of a vast collection my neighbour, Margery, had. She loved elephants. She was in her eighties but popped round as soon as we moved into our house back in England with details of rubbish collection, paper delivery and what-not, and firm instructions to let her know if we needed anything.
    I’d pop round for a cuppa sometimes, toddler in tow (always potentially terrifying in a childless house) and she’d open a tin and offer a chocolate while my eyes stayed glued to tiny hands that might smear the sofa at any given moment.
    We had some wonderful heart-to-hearts and she wrote to me when we stayed with family in Edinburgh while we had renovations done.
    Sadly, she suffered a stroke and was hospitalised, then suffered another which ended her life. I still miss her. At her funeral her son asked everyone who attended to please help themselves to an elephant from her collection, which had been brought to the wake. I remember her every time I look at ours and am transported back to her sofa on the other side of our adjoining wall…
    My mother has also had strokes and each time she gradually recovers all her abilities given time.
    Best wishes to your Dad and I hope he makes a full and swift recovery.
    Ax

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  4. Oh Tink, I’m so sorry. I know the fire that lives in your Dad, have felt it and come to love it. Please wish him my very best and tell him I’ll look for a left handed camera for him!!! My heart and thoughts are with you my friend…always…xoxo

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  5. So sorry to read of your dear dad’s stroke, Dallas. Give him a hug from me, and tell him just to close his eyes when being chauffeured around by you. I hope he makes a really speedy recovery, as he’s going to miss that allotment a lot. 🙂

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  6. Sorry to hear about your dad. I wish him a speedy recovery and oodles of patience in the passenger seat and, look at it this way, you have been forced to spend father/daughter quality time together which ordinary life never provides enough of! Make the most of it. I wish I had been more present every moment I spent with my dad. Give him a big sloppy kiss on the cheek right now! 🙂

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  7. My very best wishes to you all, Dallas. I know exactly what you – and especially your Dad – are going through right now – keep at the rehab – it’s just amazing what the brain can do to re-route signalling. Most importantly, keep that wonderful sunny disposition to the fore … 🙂

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  8. So sorry to hear about your father’s stroke – think I may be about his age (?) and gosh I’d be really frustrated in a similar situation – used to being so active and independent. Great you can be there for him. My parents lived to their early 90s but I was living far away in their later years and to this day regret not being able to give them more support.

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  9. Oh sweets… I was so sorry to hear this news. Sending healing wishes from across the sea for a speedy and complete recovery. It is pretty amazing how far medicine has come these days. Perhaps a reminder to enjoy every moment with your dear dad. Remind him if he survived the stroke, he’ll likely make it through your driving, too. 😉

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  10. I am so fond of your dad even though I’ve never met him I feel like I know him from reading your fond and funny posts about him. Hopefully he will putting up shelves very soon. Wishing him a speedy recovery.

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  11. I am so sorry about your dad… I went through this with my mom many years ago. And what I got through it is that the lessons are for both of you (his and yours… alone and together). Best wishes for a speedy recovery…

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  12. Oh Dallas, I am so very sorry to hear about your Dad – but glad that he is slowly recovering. It is of course wonderful to have such a loving and caring family around – I wish him speedy recovery and to you and your Mom strength to cope with all this. Thinking of you. Carina

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  13. Ah Dallas! I’m so sorry to hear about your dad (who happens to be one of my favourites in the blogging world). Your family is blessed with humour, commitment and love, which will make for a speedy recovery. It is not easy to see someone you hold dear go through difficult transitions, but these are the moments that give substance to the joy of being connected to people who care for each other. You will be in my thoughts….

    “I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.” Umberto Eco,

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  14. I’m so sorry this happened to your dad, I’ve always loved reading about him in your blog. It sounds like he is doing okay though, and I hope he only gets better! You tell him we need more stories about the allotment, he can’t leave us hanging in suspense. 🙂

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  15. Oh, Dallas… I’m so sorry!
    This is what I mean about a big heart, with all you’ve going through, you still made time to show concern for me. You’re a kind person and deserve the best.
    Through your stories, we’ve all grown to love your dad. I’m sending hugs and prayers for a full recovery. xxoo

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  16. So sorry to hear your news, but really glad your dad is doing well and keeping positive about it all. He sounds like an amazing gentleman with a cracking sense of humour. All my best wishes for a speedy recovery!

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  17. I’m very sorry to hear about the stroke but glad that your dad is being so well looked after. It must be a frightening prospect, having a stroke or having a loved one who has one. I hope the rehab’s going well, I’m sure a positive mental attitude helps a lot with recovery, and having a loving daughter and family around him will be a great boost. All the very best to him, he has lots of fans in the blogosphere who are wishing him well.

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  18. So glad he is doing well. From what you have written about him he seems to be strong man with just the right attitude for recovery. Remember to take care of yourself as well as him!

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  19. as you can see from all above comments, your dad is receiving lots of “positive electric virtual blessing and bits and bobs” from all your followers out in the blogosphere. Hope he will make a speedy recovery and back to the allotment soon where I am sure all his real (not virtual) pals await his return. Back to being a nurse for you… virtual hugs.

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    • I have been a truly pants nurse; I left him the other day with his lunch which consisted of a banana, packet of sausage rolls and a bar of chocolate. Of course, when I returned he was starving as he hadn’t been able to open any of it

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  20. Dear Dallas,
    I am so sorry to hear about your dad, and so glad that it wasn’t worse, and that he has you to help him through this. My friend Sharon suffered a stroke about three weeks ago. She lost the use of her left arm, left leg, and left eye. Luckily, she is right handed, and did not lose the power of speech, which would be especially hard on a storyteller. She is working hard on therapy three times a day, and can now move her left foot. Tell your dad that my husband’s aunt had a stroke when she was in her 80s, and regained the use of her limbs and lived to be 103. Wishing you all the best, and sending virtual hugs to you both.

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  21. You had to learn your gift for facing what life brings your way with great courage from someone, I am guessing that is your Dad and that you will inspire one another in the days ahead. Praying for speedy healing for him and comfort for every heart that loves him.

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  22. I am so sorry Dallas. That the stroke was mild is a good sign. R’s aunt too, completely recovered from a similar stroke that paralysed her left side and face, with the help of physiotherapy. From what I have read about your dad, I have no doubt he will beat this. Sending positive vibes his way. And to you and your mom. Love and hugs.

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  23. My WP Reader has totally changed (and messed up) how I look at and comment on other’s blogs and it is now not just difficult but close to impossible. Not sure what the problem is but if you don’t see me around for a while until this hopefully gets fixed, that’s the reason. Sorry.

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  24. So sorry to hear about your Dad, Dallas, but heartened to hear that he is doing so well. I’m sure the learning and adjustment curve is steep for everyone, but he’s so lucky to have you to chauffeur him around. Sending healing thoughts your way. ~Terri

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    • It’s been a big learning curve for us all and we learn something new everyday whether good or bad; not sure he thinks he’s lucky to be chauffered around by me, sometimes when he’s clutching the car door as if his life depended on it, I think he’d rather walk!

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  25. Sorry to hear the news about your dear Dad but I’m sure he will make a full recovery with all your help and the many thoughts from your WP community. Give him a big hug from me

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