Don’t Judge People You Never Know What Kind Of Battle They’re Fighting

Last weekend in a weak moment (and the promise of a cup of tea in the cafeteria) Dad agreed to accompany me to the supermarket for a big food shop. I managed to find a parking space not too far away from the entrance as his mobility is not too great at the moment and he won’t be running any marathons.

A pot of Earl Grey and two toasted tea cakes later, we returned to the car to find that some inconsiderate individual has parked so close that I was unable to open my driver’s door even two inches. I returned to the customer service desk to ask them to tannoy the owner of the vehicle not once but three times and some fifteen minutes later an irate man approximately of retirement age stormed up to the desk and demanded to know why he’d been summoned as he’d already checked his vehicle for damage but could see none. When I pointed out the problem, he sneered at me and remarked that I was “too much of a princess to get in the passenger side and slide across”. Truthfully, I was stunned by his attitude and couldn’t help but wonder whether his lack of compassion had been passed on to his offspring. As it was another wet and windy day, my first priority had been to manoeuvre my Dad into the car first and frankly as it had taken us some time to get him seated comfortably I was loath to unload him again.

Obviously I was more than a tad unhappy with this chap’s behaviour and less than impressed when he started to berate me rather loudly; had my father been out of earshot no doubt I would have responded with a few choice words of my own. He did, however, eventually move his car laughing all the way and again carelessly parked rather too close to yet another vehicle.

Is it wrong to expect a little basic consideration and courtesy from another human being or are they truly a thing of the past? Have good manners along with apologies become obsolete or do we live in a society which no longer needs them? In my world “please” and “thank you” along with “sorry” will always be magic words.

One of my Turkish Facebook friends posted this and on this wet & windy morning in Devon, it helped to renew my faith a little.

Can I remind you all that you still have time to email me any good news for one of my upcoming posts. I think with the earth tremors, floods, gales & snow that we could all do with sharing a little bit of happy.

30 thoughts on “Don’t Judge People You Never Know What Kind Of Battle They’re Fighting

  1. If it’s any consolation, he has only his anger, which comes from fear. Don’t let people like that hurt you, because they are too wrapped up in themselves to care about anyone else.

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  2. A heartwarming video to watch; the message transcends language barriers. Human beings are wired for nurturing children. Sadly, that nurturing impulse diminishes in adult to adult interaction, thankfully not entirely. As for not judging others for their apparently bad behavior, you might like to watch this video which addresses that very topic. It brought tears to my eyes, because it is so very true… we just don’t know the burdens people carry and if we did we might have a lot more compassion towards them. It’s called, “Get Service” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfeXxkbgCVE

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  3. The only way to perpetuate kindness is to practice kindness. It’s not too much to ask, but it is often too much to expect of others to be courteous and respectful of your day, your time, your space or your things. And in this case, even after hearing why, he couldn’t even be respectful of your situation because the only thing on his mind was himself. The only thing that you can hope is that perhaps you slowed him down just a little bit and he went back into the market with a touch more patience and awareness of other people…

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  4. GRRRRR there are days I despair of humanity but like you I find these types of videos do restore my faith just a little, I try to keep in mind that while the grumpy gits may think they have won and spoilt your day you were with family who love you, have friends who genuinely care about you and if he is very lucky he might just have a cat but I doubt it they tend to have better taste as well. Good News is coming very very soon (well you might have seen on my FB page but am waiting for dates to really start shouting about it 😀

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  5. Oh Dallas!!! It is always disheartening to see someone demonstrate inappropriate and mean behaviour, It is a choice that will reflect on everything they do. I believe that we are what our decisions make us. So today, I chose compassion over anger, joy over jealousy, peace over intolerance. You always give a lift to my day. 🙂 (Love the video)

    Are you ready for my quote – I think you’ll like this one…

    “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Gautama Buddha

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  6. Ugh, what an asshole. There is no other word for it. I’m no saint, I know. But even I know when to show compassion and understanding. This guy obviously had none of those qualities.

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  7. Although he may have been a rude prig, I admire you for holding your tongue and not giving him the reaction for which he hoped. Obviously he was looking for someone to fight. Sometimes the best way to piss folks like that off more is by being kind and generous. Drives them batty because they know exactly how undeserving they are of anything good. 🙂

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  8. A prime example of the “Me First” mindset, what an unpleasant encounter, hope your Dad enjoyed the outing anyway. Mmmm you made my mouth water with the mention of teacakes – we always enjoy them toasted with loads of butter when in the UK – sadly don’t get them here in SA – which may be a good thing for the waistline 😉

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  9. There are just some people, they don’t know how to act. No manners aren’t dead but they are certainly dying it seems. The strange thing is, were someone to do this very thing to him he would have gone ballistic I am guessing. It seems we are simply becoming meaner.

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  10. Life is going faster, and as a result, I fear, people are becoming more impatient. I’ve had some unpleasant experiences—like the time a bicyclist almost ran me down (on a sidewalk) and yelled that I was a “stupid bitch” b/c I didn’t get out of his way and he had to go around me. On the other hand, as a result of some back problems, I am now walking with a cane, and most people on the bus will give up their seat for me. There are still kind people in the world, but I think the angry ones are getting meaner.

    Good news: Two of my images were sold for recent magazine covers. Here’s one: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=692186090812699&set=a.134526779911969.17244.100000639429026&type=1&theater
    and here’s the other: http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=31376439&authType=name&authToken=rRKm&goback=%2Enpv_48314034_*1_*1_name_xy81_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1_*1&trk=NUS_DIG_CONN-conncte
    (I hope the links work)

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  11. I don’t understand why some folks have to be such…clowns. Regardless of what I am going through or what kind of day I am having, I can always remember my manners. The “please,” “thank you” and “sorry” may not be expressed in a loving tone but I don’t forget. This guy probably got splashed with a puddle on his way back in to the store. You know, karma gets you! Love the video! And glad to hear that your dad got out!

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  12. We absolutely must retain our manners and standards or the world will all go the way of this unfortunate bugger. Thanks for posting and for being such a wonderful caregiver! The tea and cakes sound wonderful!

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  13. Many people are too self-involved to know when their actions are hurting other people. Common courtesy is still out there, we just can’t expect it from everybody. In the meantime, it’s important to practice self-awareness to ensure our actions enrich our world rather than drag it down to the level of the lowest common denominator. Some days, admittedly, this can be a challenge. All we can do is our best. … Another lovely post. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

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  14. I think there’s actually a lot of good ppl in the world, they only need a nudge sometimes 😉
    I just traveled Singapore and Hong Kong with my mother in law in a wheelchair, and the help we got along the way was heart-warming. Of course there were some idiots, and even though it would be easier to remember them, I chose to forget about them. So I now live in a world full of great people haha!

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  15. Offf what an total asshole! Some people just makes me want to hurl!! And then of to the sweetest of videos, I feel so proud of my fellow norwegians.This video is so heartwarming and it raised a lot of money that is going directly to Syria for the children 🙂

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      • Yeah they made a number so that the norwegian people could send an sms and then donate 90nok (around 30 turkish lira) for each sms. Easy to get people to donate when they do it like that becuase the money gets charged from the phonebill 🙂

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  16. I truly try to feel pity for angry, unpleasant people. Can you imagine how unhappy they must be? On the bright side, I’ve brought the sunshine back from Spain with me :-). Enjoy.

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  17. Dallas, I don’t know what to say about that driver – some called him asshole, I think that is to put it too mildly. There is so many idiots around and sometime we run into them.
    Love the Norwegian video .. how wonderful that so many people gave up their clothing and really tried to help the him. There is many hidden everyday heroes out there .. at least in Norway.

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