I Was Never Ready For You To Leave

Loss whether it’s through bereavement, divorce, separation or estrangement is one of the cruellest and often difficult emotions that we have to deal with during our lifetimes.

Grief sucks all the joy out of our lives and leaves us with a crippling sense of incomprehension. It’s hard moving on and starting all over again when you’ve been forced into an unwelcome change that was neither wanted nor expected. It’s the anesthetized sensation which causes the slow burn that spreads from your heart to your throat not to mention the dull pain in your head that thwarts sleep and inhibits daily mundane tasks.

It’s the quiet times you dread most of all when a fleeting memory comes crashing into your consciousness like a speeding bullet that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and disorientated. Grief’ll get you every time and the anger that follows wraps everything in your world in a grey dense foggy cloak which even the smallest brightest ray of sunshine is unable to penetrate.

Heartache is like an unwelcome intruder and I don’t think it ever goes away; not really. We just learn to live with it; one traumatized footstep at a time. The thing is there is no miracle cure for grief, no wonder drug that can ease our suffering because we think that if we did stop the hurting we might just find ourselves finally letting go when we’re scarcely ready if we ever are.

So if you find yourself in this situation, take your time, my friend; there is no wrong or right way to grieve. There can be no time frame when it comes to the healing process but above all be kind and patient with yourself because I promise that one day you’ll wake up and the sun will be shining again.

“The only people who think there’s a time limit for grief, have never lost a piece of their heart. Take all the time you need” – Anon

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34 thoughts on “I Was Never Ready For You To Leave

  1. You are exactly correct about taking all the time you need to grieve. Thank you for this post! It has be 10 years since my mother passed away and 6 months since my father did. I feel like I should be “over” my grief of losing them, but I am far from it. Posts like yours restore my hope in realizing that I am okay. That there is nothing wrong with it taking me this long to grieve. I lost a piece of my heart that will never come back, so why should I be expected to heal quickly? Take all the time you need!

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    • So sorry to hear of your loss, you are certainly not alone and it doesn’t matter what age we are when we lose our parents we still feel abandoned. And remember that even the greatest surgeons in the world cannot force a wound to heal before time.

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    • I know it probably doesn’t feel like it at the moment but things will get better & if it helps you to write it all down you can always email it to me as I will understand only too well. Just remember one day at a time

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  2. …. and all the harder to deal with when that loss is sudden and unexpected. We try to make some sense out of a situation that is unfathomable.

    I lost my beautiful Nana when I was just 11 years old – and I still have a little cry about her from time to time. I will always miss her and it won’t be that long until I’m as old as she was when she died.

    Stay strong xx

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  3. I know for me there’s not a day goes by that a thought, a memory of those loved ones I’ve lost, doesn’t flash across my mind. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been. That goes for all our loved ones, relatives, friends, and pets. But it does get softer, with time. We miss them terribly, but hold them close in our hearts.

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    • How tragic Alan. We are not meant to bury our children and our family too has lost a family member through suicide which leaves so much unwarranted guilt & so many unanswered questions. I know that this is a loss you will never truly recover from but I hope that in your heart you find some peace

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  4. I don’t know who has died, Dallas? I’m sorry! I hoped for a clue in the comments/answers. I hopped over here to say a simple thanks for your many RTs. A little insignificant, I’m afraid. Sending hugs. 🙂

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  5. Dallas, so true and utterly beautiful said. I’m so sorry for your lost – it’s your dad???? Doesn’t really matter … to be left behind is the worst bit, but as my mother said … I don’t want my departure to be hard on the eye and the heart … let me keep your heart warm … and give you smiles instead.
    And she was so right and it helps me .. nearly everyday.
    My thoughts goes out to you, Dallas.

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      • So glad that nothing has happen to your parents … Dallas, so long as your dad is happy were he is … that is the main thing, memory lost doesn’t affect him … only you that are around him. It’s now 2,5 years since mum left .. and I’m okay with it, because she wanted to leave .. but I miss her and I talk to her so often. *smile

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      • Poor you, I feel so bad for your loss. When DIL and I looked at pics of Angel Boy as a baby, I told her I hadn’t looked at them in so long because up until recently, I wasn’t really sure he had totally recovered from his scary ordeal last year and I never wanted to look at those pics of him as the only memories I’d ever have, but now I feel finally that it’s OK and it was happy, not a sad moment, but it was still sad to see him with my mom, because I will tell you the truth, even after 25 yrs, I still miss her and wish she were here. And that’s not to make you sad, but it’s a good thing, cos she was lovely and we were so close, so it’s all happy but yes, a circle. 🙂

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  6. You have such a gift for words. It shines through even when it’s not meant to be humorous. You have put in words the essence of the grieving process. There for all those who need to feel they are not alone, or who might need some guidance in coping. I wish I could express the sympathy I feel for you…. hugs

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