When I was at junior school one of my fellow pupils and arch-rivals was a small motherless child called Tanya who was the youngest member of a large noisy family which usually had one or two members detained at her Majesty’s pleasure at any one time. She regularly arrived at school fairly dishevelled in her sisters’ scruffy hand-me-downs and spent most of her time asleep on her desk where for the most part she remained undisturbed by the teachers. We had eyed each other warily on the very first day of term and since then there had been an air of antagonism between us.
I had a severe attack of the green-eyed monster when my mother at the bus stop one afternoon invited her to tea as if she were one of my best friends. I pleaded with her to withdraw the invitation but she was adamant and scolded that if I couldn’t be a gracious host I could remain in my room until it was bath time so begrudgingly I joined in the tea party pulling faces at Tanya whenever the opportunity presented itself and the old dear wasn’t looking. Naturally, I was too young to realise that this unloved child’s animosity was merely a shield against the harsh world in which she lived.
Imagine my disappointment when Tanya became a regular visitor for tea at Dyson Abbey. Despite this she was no less hostile with me even when I was forced to share my toys and meals with her and to add insult to injury she was always given a bag filled with my mother’s homemade baking treats such as butterfly cakes or maids of honour to take home with her.
Of course, what my seven-year old heart couldn’t understand was that my wise old mum knew this poor child was sorely in need of a good meal and it would be unlikely her proud family would accept charity so by inviting her for tea each week she was ensuring that this small neglected youngster would have not only a substantial meal but also for a short while a little compassion which was otherwise lacking in her young life.
Unfortunately, for Tanya her circumstances changed when her wayward father was incarcerated once again but on this occasion social services stepped in and just as fast as they started our shared afternoon teas came to an abrupt end as Tanya was despatched to live with a distant relative a few miles away.
It wasn’t until many years later that whilst queuing up at a supermarket checkout as a young twenty-something the woman in front of me said that she knew me and it took a while for me to realise I was standing in front of my old adversary, Tanya. We exchanged rather formal pleasantries but as she finished her transaction at the till, she made to walk away but then turned around and surprised me by saying “thank your mum for me, I’ve never forgotten her kindness; those tea parties with the delicious cakes and trifles were the only thing I had to look forward to back then”. And just as quickly she was gone from my life for the second time.
I cringed as I walked home reprimanding myself for being so mean-spirited and as I walked past a gift shop window I noticed a hand-painted sign which was part of the pretty shabby chic display. It simply said “Kindness begins with me“. It was inevitable that I bought it and it still hangs in my kitchen as a constant reminder that a simple act of kindness is like your fingerprint on the world and years later you can still hear its echo if you listen very carefully.
Beverley Big Pants, Prince the Pup & Yours Truly
Oh my, what a great story and an even better legend. I would have acted just like you if my mom had done what yours did, so don’t feel bad lol but how nice to have met up with the girl years later! It sure changes one’s perspective, doesn’t it? (And Dyson Abbey, too funny.) Your mom sounds so nice.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The old dear certainly has her moments and her cakes taste like an angel made them; mine not so much!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my, my mouth is watering!
LikeLike
What a great story and lesson from Dyson Abbey! You really know how to raise that lump in my throat when you don’t have me rolling off my chair laughing. True words of wisdom here that we’d all do well to remember more often! Thank you my dear!
LikeLiked by 3 people
I certainly needed a few reminders and even now I look back at some of the times I could have been more generous & cringe
LikeLike
My dear, dear friend, you nourish my heart and soul with your words. Thank you so much for sharing this special narrative. I will carry it with me and remember that “kindness begins with me.” Hugs
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was a necessary lesson for me as I think many of us as children and young people are very careless with our words & gestures and to be honest I’m still learning. Like many I consider myself a work in progress
LikeLiked by 1 person
I feel the same way!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful true story. I imagine you cringe just a little when you think back on your petty behavior. But that is the way of a child. None of us have been angels although we sure wish that we were back then. Your mother was a wise and compassionate lady.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do wish I were a little kinder, a little more patient, a little less judgemental but I guess that kind of wisdom comes with age
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are right . We somehow either mellow out or get wiser and for the lucky ones- mellower and wiser.
LikeLiked by 1 person
this is a wonderful story, and goes to show us that as children we see so much and yet learn so little until we are oh so much older
LikeLiked by 2 people
How beautifully put
LikeLiked by 1 person
. . a gentle reminder that compassion and kindness are supreme virtues.
LikeLiked by 2 people
They are indeed, Alan
LikeLike
Lovely story Dallas. Thankfully our parents can be more perceptive and generous than us when we’re at that raw age.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I sincerely hope I’m a better adult than I was a child
LikeLike
What a great story! The message is one we should all take to heart too. I know the saying “a little kindness goes a long way” is a bit of a cliche. That doesn’t mean it’s not true, though. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sadly I wasn’t the one being kind but it most certainly taught me a very valuable lesson
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, the thing with wisdom is that it comes with experience. We all do foolish, mean or selfish things when we’re young. The real problem is if we never grow beyond this. Your mother certainly did. Her behavior really was a wonderful example of kindness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
my old dear is an old school midwife (much like the ones in the BBC drama “Call the Midwife”) so she’s seen a lot of poverty & misery in her professional life & you couldn’t be a midwife without having a shedload of compassion
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on madebysteffieb and commented:
A must read x
LikeLike
I always save your emails for when I get time. I just read this, give your mum and hug from me please and thank you for sharing this story, I always enjoy reading you even if I don’t always say it 🙂 xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so very much, I am very grateful and she smiled when she read your comment
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your Mum lead by example…which is why you remember this time so well and can write about it now. You’ve grown into your own now and as the daughter of the Old Dear…in her shoes…you’d do the same. Well done Mum and a lesson well learned Tink.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really do hope that I’ve improved with age, Ms R!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh I’m sure of it…absolutely sure of it
LikeLike
Love the idea of our actions being the fingerprint we leave behind in other peoples lives. Wonderful story!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can vividly recall many of the occasions when I have experienced the kindness of a stranger and the effect that it had on my life. I hope now that I’m all “growed up” that I can pass it forward
LikeLike
I can’t think of anyone that tells a better story than you Dallas. You write in a way that anyone reading can see what you are painting with your words. Truly outstanding in everyway. Should you ever find yourself on the “otherside” of the pond, I would love to meet you. In the meantime, I think you need to publish a book of short stories, you are truly gifted!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now wouldn’t that be something, a bottle of wine and we’d be chatting into the wee small hours. Thank you so much for your kind words Marsha; they really do make a difference especially on the days when I’m struggling (like many of us) to fit everything in and I swear that this will be the year I give up blogging
LikeLike
What a lovely lesson even if you had to learn it all those years later. I think you should not beat yourself over the head with your ‘childish’ behavior, it was what any of us would have done. Truly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I so hope you’re right; I aspire to be a better person these days but I don’t think I can pull it off every day
LikeLike
What a wonderful mum to teach you life lessons at the age of 7. Of course, they only just caught up to you but I’ll bet that was part of her plan as well. So, how will you pay it forward for the next person so they can learn a lesson too? Better yet, how will I?
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are so right in that we do need to pass on kindness and I wish it was something that I was able to do every day without even thinking about it but when we’re juggling so much things slip by unnoticed
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a lovely story, and I’m sure most of us would have been the same at such a young age. It’s only as we grow up we realise that others need our kindness. Your Mum was a warm wise person, and you will no doubt be the same now.
LikeLike
A beautiful lesson, beautifully shared.
LikeLike
What a wonderful thing your mom did for that little girl. And even though it took years, the lesson she was trying to instill in you made the impression she had hoped for. That gives me hope that someday the kindness for others I’m trying to teach my kids will finally click in.
LikeLike
I think my mum was definitely a generous soul it just took me a few years to catch up with her
LikeLike