Tales From The Allotment

Those that follow my blog, know that my eccentric family are the inspiration behind a lot of my posts along with various four-legged friends and neighbours from our Devon Village. I’m hoping that they’ll all forgive me for sharing all our mishaps, foibles and quirks with you; if not I might be moving to a neighbourhood near you!!!!!

Sisters are the Crab Grass in the lawn of life
Never let an angry sister comb your hair

A good neighbour is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb over it.
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa to save yourself from the crocodiles then you never had a childhood

Trick or Treat?
Every day is Halloween for some of us

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
DIY and worldwide shelving domination

Yes officer, I did see the ‘Speed limit’ sign…I just didn’t see you!
Driving, speed limits and Dads

Anything is possible in a movie theatre
Childhood dreams, usherettes and the magic torch

Please Feel Free To Kick My Plaster Cast!
Accidents, broken limbs and TCP

A Hospital Is No Place To Be Sick
Reluctant patients and taxi cabs

Nighthawk Calling London, Come in London
Trespassers will be composted

My Funny Valentine
My first love

There’s No Business Like Showbusiness (Part One)
Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden

There’s No Business Like Showbusiness (Part Two)
Cakes, prize vegetables and subtefuge

Fifty Sheds of Grey
We all live in glass houses & none of us have clean windows

He’ll Have To Go
Dancing in the aisles

And He Drove The Fastest Milkcart In The West
Travelling to Bristol airport in style

Finding Nemo
Plumbers and portly ginger guinea pigs

It Was All Started By A Little Mouse
When the cat’s away the mice will play

Waifs & Strays
We are never so lost that angels can’t find us

You Can’t Buy Happiness But You Can Buy Ice-cream
They’re justified and ancient and they drive an ice-cream van

Volunteering; We Don’t Pay So No You Can’t Quit
It’s the village fete again; can someone please pass the taser?

The Show Must Go On (Part One)
Walkie Talkies, Vicars and Car Park Marshalls

The Show Must Go On (Part Two)
Sometimes you just have to throw on your crown & remind them who they are dealing with

In Deepest Darkest Devon No One Can Hear You Scream
The village version of Wrong Turn starring Beverley Big Pants

A Bit Of A Do (Part One)
Everybody has a chapter they don’t read out loud

A Bit Of A Do (Part Two)
A wedding is a party not a performance

A Bit Of A Do (Part Three)
Pick a pew not a side; we’re all family once the knot is tied

A Bit Of A Do (Part Four)
Don’t let something that’s long gone continue to control you;  its time to let go

At First I Was Afraid, I Was Petrified
It’s close to midnight and something evil’s lurking in the dark

Memories Are Timeless Treasures Of The Heart
Memories are a way of holding onto the things we love & the things we never want to lose

Happiness Is Having A Scratch For Every Itch
When you’re one bad relationship away from having thirty cats

Save The Last Dance For Me
Dads are most ordinary men turned by love into heroes, adventurers, storytellers & singers of songs

Ask Yourself Who You Want To Help Today, Then Put On Your Cape & Do It!
The Frying Flyer rides again

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s